It always feels a little paradoxical to me that I have to put so much effort into my attempts to rest and recover. This weekend, as I prepare for four days away from work, I’ve planned out the cleaning I will do, the groceries I will need, what activities I’ll have each day of my break, what errands I’ll run and when, and what treats I will allow myself as I invariably don’t want the food that’s in my apartment. I have pretty much everything planned out other than what time I’ll go to bed. Frankly, it was way more work to prepare for this weekend than I expected and I’m genuinely a little worried that I’m not going to get as much out of this weekend as I’d like. After all, I’m more burned out than ever, I’ve started getting bad lower back pains every time I sleep for more four or five hours at a time, and my entire body hurts despite doing what I’m supposed to do to counteract the two medications I’m taking that cause body and, somehow additionally, joint pain. It’s exhausting and I’m not sure taking a weekend to rest will actually do anything but leave me feeling like I’ve wasted a bunch of time doing nothing or like I’ve somehow gained nothing for the time I’ve spent. The latter of which might happen regardless, given my record for disasters striking post-vacation [here I am, editing this post on my second post-vacation day at work during what was supposed to be a chill week and disaster has already struck twice…], so it’s difficult to relax.
Continue readingMonth: May 2024
Revisiting Knights of the Old Republic Two Decades Later
I’ve once again reached a branch in the saga that is listening to the podcast A More Civilized Age. This time, I’ve begun playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic on my PC, for the first time in years. KotOR, as I’ve mentioned years ago, was the game that made me fall in love with RPGs. It is also one of the few games I didn’t replay post-high school since it went “missing” at one point after my brother came home from college for a vacation and then, when I got it on Steam as part of a Star Wars bundle, I just couldn’t get into it again. I played it so much in high school that I’d basically memorized the entire game and I was pretty much the only person I knew who was really into Star Wars stuff so I had no one to talk to about it. There was nothing to keep me there. Which has all changed this year. Now, one of my closest friends is more into Star Wars than I am and my current podcast listening focus is a podcast all about Star Wars media that played through the game themselves! How could I not replay it? I mean, I could have tried to wait for whatever remake is going to happen (which, as of an interview in April of 2024, is still being worked on), but it has been several years since it was supposed to be done the first time and it spent most of the time since then looking like a dead project, so I’m not expecting that to ever bear fruit. Instead, I’m playing the old, kinda janky version of the game (with no mods so I can get the unadulterated experience) and having a blast most of the time.
Continue readingStormy Thoughts The Morning After
Last night, as I settled in for what comfort I could manage while entirely without power (it was warm and humid, I wasn’t able to use any of my sound generators to cover up the noise of my neighbors, and I was entirely without access to my CPAP machine), I wound up spending a lot of time thinking. It’s difficult to avoid when you can’t fill the air with podcasts like you normally do because you need to save your phone’s battery, when your various electronic entertainments are all inaccessible, and when you’ve got no way to position a candle so that reading a book won’t strain your eyes more than your day job of staring at monitors already has. Not a lot to do other than consider spending my tablet’s battery to read or sit and think about what it means to be without power in the modern era. Which is pretty tempting, to be completely honest. I do enjoy a bit of inward contemplation and there’s nothing quite like staring out the window at the unquiet night sky as you consider modernity. As I went to do this, though, my mind already full of thoughts about an impenetrably dark sky, the darkness of a world without city lights, and the slow hum of people doing their best to live on despite the sudden darkness and silence of the world around them, I found out that this little idealized version of my situation didn’t actually exist.
Continue readingNotes From Within A Tornado Shelter
I had different plans for today’s post, but I’m currently sitting on the floor in the bathroom at work because it’s a designated tornado shelter (and the one I trust to be a bit safer than other nearby options). The tornado warning sirens have been silent for ten minutes now, but the weather report says they’ll last another forty-five minutes and there’s a good chance we’ll get a new set before these expire, given the way the storm front is moving (I turned out to be correct: we got a new warning that lasted an additional thirty minutes). Currently, the door is open as what seems like the only other employee in this part of the building is hanging out in the other bathroom doorway, the both of us scanning various radars and weather monitoring services while we talk about the likelihood of us getting hit by any of the potential tornados. Currently, the wind makes it look like they’ll all pass west and north of us, but the storm front took a pretty hefty push to the east, directly toward us, right as the sirens hit, so who knows. Know that, if you’re reading an entire post with the normal (low) number of spelling and grammar issues that I’ve survived and everything turned out some kind of fine [it did. No tornadoes even touched-down in my area. There were some hurricane-force winds, though, and I spent 24 hours without power after writing this post and eventually leaving for home between bursts of the storm].
Continue readingNo Post Today
Today is a holiday in the U.S. (Memorial Day) and I’ve decided to take the day off because I’m sorely in need of some rest after the last few weeks. And last week especially (which you’ll read all about over the next two days). So I hope you’re having a fun day off if you’re in the U.S. and don’t need to work. If you aren’t off work or aren’t in the U.S., I hope you have an alright day anyway, and that no one makes unreasonable demands on your time or energy.
Star Wars Rebels Is Exceeding My Expectations
As part of my on-going quest to listen to all of A More Civilized Age, I finally started watching Star Wars Rebels and I gotta say that I’m hooked. I’ve actually been watching episodes of the show to unwind in the evenings rather than just to keep ahead of where I’m at in the podcast. I’ve still got my problems with the show, sure, but it currently sounds a lot more fun to me than more endlessly working through repetitive open-world stuff in Final Fantasy 7: Rebirth. Which isn’t saying much because that stuff is so boring that I fell asleep five minutes into trying to play through the open-world portions of the ninth chapter and haven’t been able to convince myself to go back since then. I know my runway is just about to disappear since AMCA only made it through the first season before they shifted to playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic so they would stay compliant with the various union rules about struck productions, companies, and media from last year. I’ve got the three-part season finale left to watch and I’m probably going to watch it tonight since I’m way too tired to force myself to work through more boring desert-y open world junk in Rebirth. I’d just immediately fall asleep if I tried that and I need to make it until at least ten or eleven tonight before I give up on staying awake.
Continue readingSolo: A Star Wars Story Was A Fine Romp
After a few years of avoiding it because I heard it wasn’t very good, I finally saw Solo: A Star Wars Story. To be completely honest, part of me was avoiding it because I didn’t care for the name of the movie and I was worried that seeing Donald Glover in it would impact my feelings about Community. I set all of that aside, though, because good old A More Civilized Age watched it between wrapping up the Post-Season 6 But Pre-Season 7 Clone Wars material and starting Star Wars Rebels and I wanted to be able to follow their massive episode. Plus, it’s not like I’d heard Solo was bad, just that it wasn’t actually good. So I watched and listened to AMCA talk about it and, you know, I think it was actually pretty alright. It might be the fact that I watched it between watching Dune Part 1 and Dune Part 2, so almost anything would seem good in comparison to those two movies, but I did genuinely enjoy my time watching it. It was a fun romp, even if it lasted way longer than it should have and maybe had a little too much going on, so much so that I got an hour in and just kept checking the time remaining after that because I had literally no sense of how far along the movie was, in terms of time or plot. Still, all of those too-many parts were at least a little fun and while there’s definitely some problems with the movie, none of them were bad enough to really take me out of it.
Continue readingBringing An Old D&D Character Back For A New Shot At Life
It will be at least another week yet before I start playing in a new (to me) Dungeons and Dragons 5e campaign. I thought we might start last week (the day I wrote this), but one of the players wound up being busy and the fact that this game is specifically a campaign wrap-up means that we really can’t play without someone. I mean, they could probably play without me since my character is being introduced pretty late into the campaign (as part of the game’s revival and conclusion), but I don’t think they will. Not after inviting me to join them and everything. Luckily, thanks to an early pandemic game that didn’t last very long, I had a character who already existed in the game’s world so I could just level him up, kit him out, and then work with the Dungeon Master to figure out where he existed in this world a little bit further down the timeline. It even works out thematically because the campaign in which this character first appeared was about slaying a dragon that had its own cult and this campaign wrap-up is about a campaign of dragon slayers who accidentally let part of the soul of an evil undead dragon escape from the magic crystal they’d been trying to protect. As it turned out, not all natural twenties are good things, especially when it comes to the targeted application of a Dispel Magic spell. A natural twenty on that could do a lot more than you intended.
Continue readingLooking Back On Three Years Of Eye Problems
It has now been two years since my eye problems were largely solved and over three since they began. I’ve mentioned it once or twice, but the original problem was mostly in the early stages of maintenance once my blog was up and running, even though it kept coming back a few weeks or couple of months after I finished treatment, despite my best efforts. For the last two years though, I’ve been taking a daily pill and putting in a sorta daily eye drop as the specialist I saw was completely unable to actually diagnose what had happened but did prescribe me the eyecare he determined I would need to care for the symptoms with the note that things would probably clear up on their own eventually, so long as I didn’t ignore the symptoms. Given that ignoring the symptoms could result in blindness (partial or full), I have been pretty motivated to keep up my routine over the years. After all, daily-ish eyedrops and an actually daily pill are a small price to pay to keep myself from going blind in one or more eyes, even if I still absolutely hate putting anything in my eyes despite the over three years of exposure I’ve had to the process. I’d rather confront that fear and discomfort every day than lose my vision.
Continue readingThe Dune Movies Would Be Better If They Were Shorter
I do not normally consider time wasted so long as it didn’t have a negative impact on my life. Sure, doing my taxes isn’t fun and is usually very stressful because I get a clear picture of how much debt I still have, but it’s not a waste of my time. Cleaning my apartment isn’t a waste of my time. Commuting isn’t a waste of my time. Writing detailed notes to myself about things I’ll definitely remember isn’t even a waste of my time. The two Dune movies, though, are definitely a waste of my time. I didn’t dislike them so much that I consider all five and a half hours I’ve spent watching them both a full waste of my time, but it’s difficult to feel like they were anything but that when each of them was at least an hour too long. I think they could have trimmed at least that much out and wound up with a pair of movies that would have been better for it. I mean, there were definitely some enjoyable bits in both of those movies (way more than in the books, my review of which is going to take a while longer to write since I don’t feel particularly motivated to write more about it than I already have even if I feel like it would do me some good to get the thoughts out of my head and written down somewhere) but as I only slightly jokingly told a coworker today, Zendaya can’t carry a movie that big all on her own.
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