I might have a small problem. I’ve been playing a lot of Final Fantasy XIV and while I haven’t lost control of my life, I’m still showing up for work, and I’m still attending to all my responsibilities, I am also absolutely at a loss for what to do with myself tonight (the day I’m writing this) while the game is down for its next major update (going from version 7.1 to 7.2). I mean, I’ve got stuff I could be doing and that I probably will wind up doing once I’m done here, but I am absolutely feeling adrift as I think about the fact that I can’t just keep playing FFXIV with all of my free time. Aside from a few planned breaks here or there, largely intended to take care of specific tasks or watch some Hunter x Hunter to prepare for the next episode of Media Club Plus, I haven’t taken a night off of playing Final Fantasy 14. I certainly haven’t avoided playing it any time I’ve WANTED to play it. Until tonight. Tonight, I’ve had to refocus myself multiple times as my mind has wandered off to think about what I’d like to do in the game. It’s been annoying. Minorly annoying, sure, but annoying all the same. It makes sense the game would need to be down for maintenance in order for them to update all the servers and everything (that’s a pretty monumental undertaking), but I still feel modestly frustrated by it as I’ve had to think about what to start spending my time on instead. I mean, I haven’t really started ANYTHING since I began playing Final Fantasy 14, other than Slay the Princess. Closest I’ve come aside from that was playing a bit over an hour of Wanderstop and I had to stop that because it was going to make it more difficult to keep myself working. Which, you know, is a pretty moot point right now given that I’ve taken the rest of the week (as of me writing this) off.
Continue readingMonth: March 2025
Choosing Joy While Listening To NADDPod
One of the podcasts I listen to regularly, NADDPod (AKA, Not Another D&D Podcast), recently started their fourth season (or main campaign, I guess? Though they have talked about changing up the format to do fewer long campaigns and more shorter ones, which really kind of muddies the waters). After all these years of games–main campaigns, side games, mini-arcs, and one-shots–the final member of the group has taken the lead and run not just a one-shot or a mini-arc like most of the others have, but stepped up to run the next main campaign for group. The one guy in the group who hasn’t technically sworn to never run a campaign but has expressed extreme trepidation about it and about not knowing the game well enough to run things has finally stepped out from behind the character sheet and taken a seat behind the GM’s screen. This guy, Jake Herwitz, has always been funny and a great performer (and is, in fact, one of the original founders of the podcast company that NADDPod is a part of), but I was a bit nervous at the thought of him taking over. After all, I hadn’t really seen any of his independent creative work, or anything he’d done outside of the podcast. I had no idea what it was that he would bring to the show that the others didn’t do just as well if not better. Having listened to a few episodes, though, I am happy to say that all of my fears were completely wrong and he’s doing a better job than I ever imagined he could. He might even wind up being my favorite GM for this group, in fact, if he manages to stay the course for his entire run.
Continue readingSpring Weather, Sleep Schedules, And Catching Sick
It is officially spring. At least it is when I’m writing this. Who knows when you’re reading this (but chances are good that it is also spring, given how infrequently old posts of mine resurface). It is the first of Spring today and the weather has stopped its mad fluctuations for at least a little bit. Next week holds the promise of some wild swings between freezing weather and the seventies, so who know what kind of day you’ll be reading this on, but the days before it will be proper, early-Spring days and most of the days after it will be proper early-spring days, so I’m looking forward to having at least a little stability in the weather for a while. After all, things have been jumping up and down (in both temperature and air pressure), that I’ve been decidedly under the weather for a while now. It’s usually not that bad, unless it’s jumping forty degrees in a single day, but I’ve been in a rough place for a while now, due to burnout and exhaustion, so even a little bit takes a toll on me. Still, thanks to feeling buoyed by sunlight, how late sunset is these days, and generally uplifted by the warm weather, I managed to push through it. Then I got a stomach bug, got laid out for two days dealing with that, and then everything came crashing down on me, keeping me laid out for another three days. It was rough, but I’m coming out the other side of it feeling better than I have in a while.
Continue readingI’m Tired and Sad, So Let’s Talk About The Legend of Zelda: Episode 33
One of my favorite parts of returning to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, has been how clearly I remember it and how much fun I still have in the game despite my near-perfect recall of every part of it. I can probably direct anyone who wants it to about two hundred or so Koroks, I can find every single shrine unaided, I know where all the good armor is located, and I can beat more bosses without much effort because I can perfectly recall how each battle goes, how to apply the mechanics, and know the game’s systems well enough to show up with weapons powerful enough to make short work of any fight. Despite this, I still enjoy every single moment I’m playing the game. Though it might be better said that I remember so much of the game because of how much I enjoy it, how deeply engaged I am with it at all times, and how playing it gives rise to a delightful mixture of familiar comfort mingled with striking wonder every time I find something I never encountered before. Truly, there is no game that I have a better recollection of or active experience with. What strikes me as odd is that, despite the similarity in overworlds, I only have a somewhat normal recollection of Tears of the Kingdom. Sure, I know where stuff is with my usual familiarity (my greatest skill in most games is never getting lost and remember where random things were, which has mostly only served me well in games without maps like Minecraft), but I can’t just walk up to a shrine and perfectly recall what’s going on inside it before I’ve entered.
Continue readingI’ve Been Inspired By Anime To Do More Therapy
Almost exactly a year ago, right after Akira Toriyama passed away, I wrote about Dragon Ball and how formative my introduction to manga was. Since then, I’ve mostly held off on rereading the series so I could do it during a time that I was capable of properly feeling joy (rather than just ignoring the pain I was in for all of last year), but I have spent a lot of time, on and off, thinking back to my childhood library and my introduction to the series. And comics (specifically the ones that didn’t appear in the “funny pages” of the newspaper my parents got) as a whole, since those were all sorted together. Surprisingly, out of basically no where, some of those memories became relevant again. You see, in the early days of my local library putting comics out in a place that kids like me could easily see them, there was one other manga series available for people to borrow. I avoided it at all costs because, even then, I was aware of the expectations placed on me by my parents that I avoid anything that might be construed as “girly” or “soft” and the image of a young woman and two young men on the cover screamed “romance” to me in a way I absolutely couldn’t have verbalized as a child. So, rather than invest in my emotional intelligence (which, coincidentally, was something my parents wanted me to develop despite them often signaling that it wasn’t a masculine trait like all the others they tried to cultivate in me), I invested in my creative intelligence and passed over the inexplicably named “Fruits Basket” manga in favor of the action-y one that was filled with fighting and whatnot.
Continue readingStaggering Exhaustedly Into Another Week
Adjusting to my new medication has been rough. Not as rough as the last one was, sure, but given how long it has been since I’ve felt like I was near one hundred percent (and the fact that I started this medication as soon as I felt I could when coming off the last one), it feels maybe worse than it otherwise would. There’s a lot of emotional weight behind the thought “I don’t know how long it has actually been since I felt more than alright” and it occasionally winds up one hell of a sucker punch to throw my way when I’m feeling down. It doesn’t help that the benefits I’m supposed to be seeing from this medication haven’t really materialized yet and I don’t know if they ever will. It’s entirely possible that this one just doesn’t work for me and that I’ll have spent two months waiting for something that just won’t materialize. Or that has somehow materialized without me knowing it? It’s difficult to say, sometimes, given how much the tiredness from this medication is just sort of casting a pall over my life. That’s the problem with such overwhelming tiredness: it’s difficult to keep track of anything at all, much less how you’re feeling, when your predominant physical and emotional state is “ready to fall asleep the instant I relax” all day, every day.
Continue readingFinding The Online Community I’ve Always Wanted in Final Fantasy 14
Last weekend (as of this post going live) was incredibly eventful for my little group in Final Fantasy 14. As I’ve been playing more and more over the last few months, I’ve gotten to know more and more of my Free Company (or guild, for those of you more familiar with other Massively Multiplayer Online games) as they’ve made me gear, helped me with quests, I’ve done work with/for them, and we’ve just hung out together. It’s been really nice, finding a community, learning people’s names, occasionally hanging out in voice chat, and just really digging into the social aspect of the game beyond running into random people around here (many of whom are very nice and not at all creepy: one of them gave me some free stuff the other day while I was working on a project near a market). Because of that and being a very active and friendly member of the tight-knit group, I’ve been getting involved in more and more stuff as time has gone on. I’ve always been a regular at the group’s wrestling outings, but I’ve done what I can to try to attend every single group event so that I can become a bit more emmeshed in the group before my friends, the couple who got me into the game at this particular moment in time, disappear for their delayed honeymoon. All of which amounts to me attending three roleplaying events with the group in a twenty-four hour period from Friday night to Saturday night. They were all a lot of fun, but that was a lot of socializing via text and, for part of it, voice chat, which left me drained. I don’t regret my choices, but I do wish I had a bit more of a social battery these days.
Continue readingPlaying The Beginner’s Guide For An Introduction To Critical Analysis
Yesterday, while writing about The Stanley Parable, I kind of did a small lie-by-omission type thing. I left out that I’d just recently played through Davey Wreden’s other game, The Beginner’s Guide, and that playing that game gave me a lot to think about in regards to the first game. I’ll be straight with you: this post is going to contain “spoilers” for The Beginner’s Guide, but that’s also a bit of a weird game, so the word “spoilers” feels like it implies more than it does. After all, while undeniably a game, The Beginner’s Guide doesn’t really have the sort of narrative play or inversion that The Stanley Parable did. It’s basically just a straight-forward story that you’re walking your way through a bit at a time. Except it’s not really straight-forward. There’s a bit of a twist to the story you’re being told. Your first hints of it arrive pretty early on. There’s only a scattered few, but with the rise of social media discourse being what it has been, I feel like modern audiences are maybe a bit more keyed into what’s going on underneath the narrator’s story. The rest, though, arrive in a torrent later on and fully reveal the twist if you haven’t figured it out already. It’s an interesting story to hear through the layers, from hearing what the in-game “Davey Wreden” says to you, to reading what the object of the “Davey Wreden’s” parasocial affection is writing to “Davey,” to thinking about what all of this might have meant to the out-of-game Davey Wreden, to finally thinking about what it means to me as a person who played Davey’s games and really likes to dig into this stuff with a critical and analytical lens.
Continue readingThe Stanley Parable: An Exercise In Video Game Storytelling
A few months ago, back around the winter holidays, I played through The Stanley Parable for the first time. It was one of those games that I’d had on my Steam wishlist for a very long time and just never got around to actually buying or playing it. In fact, my general interest in the game is what led me to be so interested in one of my most anticipated games of 2025, Wanderstop. Sure, the trailer was great, but I’d been intrigued by the premises of the games that the creator of Wanderstop’s studio, Davey Wreden, had already made and so took a closer look at Wanderstop. Without that, I might have written off the bits I’d seen of the Wanderstop trailer as just another cozy game and ignored it, given how much I both love and hate cozy games these days (love chore-based games but hate the aesthetic that often gets stuff labeled “cozy” these days). But, despite my intrigue, it still took me a while to actually sit down and play the game since I’d heard that it’s a game best experienced all at once and I just didn’t have it in me to stay engaged with anything like that (other than Dragon Age, anyway) until just about the start of the new year. So, thanks to the rest I’d been getting and the need for something to do that didn’t take a lot of manual dexterity (I wasn’t able to do much with my left hand thanks to the burns I’d gotten while making my Christmas dinner), I booted the game up and spent a good few hours playing through it.
Continue readingI Slayed The Princess And All I Got Was This Collection Of Neutral Thoughts
This review spoils some of the details of the mild-to-moderate horror game Slay The Princess, a game best-played with as little information as possible for your first time, and features non-descriptive discussions of violence and bodily harm.
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