The week I’m writing this, I am the only tester on my team who is in the office. The other two are away on multi-week vacations, coincidentally overlapping during what could be described as the busiest period of the summer so far. I’m sure neither one of them did this on purpose. It’s not like any of us knew this week was going to be busy until Thursday of last week and it was far too late to do anything about it then. So, to make up for the lack of other testers and the large amount of work that needs doing every day, I’ve been strictly managing my time at work and bouncing between a large variety of tasks. It is incredibly exhausting, I’ll be honest, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be have gotten less done than if I’d been able to just do my own thing rather than constantly need to reprioritize as something new crops up. Still, I’ve managed to keep on top of everything so far, for three days in a row, other than the testing intern. He’s supposed to be running some tests the senior tester gave him before he left, but I think he’s not actually doing that, given the lack of questions and how the two times I’ve gone to check on him, he’s had to wake up his computer and log back in to show me what he’s supposedly been working on. Since the first time that’s happened, I’ve been keeping on eye on him from the lab or my office, wherever I’m working, and noticing how little time he’s spending looking at his monitors and how much time he’s spending looking at his tablet. I’m not one to bust anyone for taking a break or not looking busy, and I can understand that he probably doesn’t want to have this job but is kind of getting forced into it since his relatives work here (they’re high up in the company, too, so there’s quite a lot of nepotism going on here since he’s been given the most nothing job assignment), but this work needs doing and all of us testers are counting on it getting done, so I’m going to need to figure something out for his last handful of weeks.

Unfortunately, thanks to everything else going on. I didn’t have a single spare minute to go talk to him today. I have been on my feet all day (and even sweat through both my undershirt and my overshirt, a N95 mask, and a pair of socks), so I didn’t have a spare moment to do more than keep an eye on him and think about what I can do to get him more engaged. The problem is that all of the stuff going on this week requires enough specific expertise that I’m struggling with some of it. I’ve got a good grasp on what everyone does and how everything works, but a lot of the stuff that’s come up needs more than a good grasp and trying to build that in myself is difficult enough without trying to teach someone some of the less complicated stuff. Thankfully, though, with a burst of extra work today, I was able to finish a maintenance/installtion project today (which was the particular burst that left me soaked) that I might be able to get him working on. It would take him away from the testing he was assigned, but I can’t imagine that he’s enjoying the work at all and while I don’t think he’d enjoy this work more, it’s certainly much more engaging. I was kind of looking forward to doing the testing involved with this installation since it’s great work for just shutting off my brain and doing a think that ALSO is incredibly visible work (a thing I still have to concern myself with thanks to my boss still just wanting to see people working in the lab as evidence that work is being done rather than, say, looking at task lists or hour logs), but I’m capable of making myself doing the unfun boring stuff and there’ll be plenty more of this testing available in the future. Might as well give it to the intern who looks pretty athletic so hopefully he can enjoy himself a bit more during his last few weeks than if I just left him in his office to do whatever amount of work he’s getting done.

I would prefer it if I didn’t need to do this. I’m specifically not getting paid to lead people at this company and while I’m more than willing to take initiative and lend a hand, I’m also try not to fall into the trap my employer tries to get everyone stuck in by shoehorning people into doing multiple jobs without additional pay or a job title change. It isn’t impossible to avoid, but it is certainly difficult avoid if you want any kind of career advance since doing multiple jobs is the only way you’re ever really going to get a promotion into any kind of leadership position. I’ve mostly written that off with my current employer, given that I’m still looking for a new job and don’t see myself staying here long-term unless something drastically changes about my situation, but I’m not sure I can just let my current situation go unattended. I already get enough flack for doing my job in a way that isn’t literally visible to everyone who feels like they have some claim to my time and effort, so I wouldn’t be surprised if my boss sat me down next week (well, the week this gets posted) and told me he was concerned about my lack of leadership or initiative or my failure to follow-through on a commitment because I didn’t make sure the intern was busy and also visibly working. It seems like the path of least resistance involves me spending more of my time working with the intern in order to make sure that we’re both visibly productive and that the work he was given is getting done (or that he’s given other work that is getting done).

I kind of wish I’d started earlier, so I could have stayed on top of this better and he’d have more to show for this week, but I’ve literally been so busy every single day so far that I’m not sure when I could have done that. Hopefully, with my major task for this week done and what will hopefully be a pair of quiet days without new demands, I can spare more time to check on him, help him figure out how to do the work he’s been tasked with, and given him something a bit more active and engaging to spend his time on. And hopefully I can sweat a little less and be a tiny bit less busy, because I am exhausted. I don’t feel as awful as I did last week and I’m not entirely sure why that is, but I’ve got some ideas and will hopefully be able to know for sure sometime in the next few weeks. It sure would be nice to have my normal energy and focus back, even if it’s hidden under an unaddressed layer of burnout and anxiety. It’d be nice to feel like myself again for the first time in years… But only time will tell for certain if that’s coming up for me and this year has convinced me to not be hopeful about much of anything, so I’ll settle for just being slightly less sweaty for the rest of the week. It’d be so nice to not be worried about whether or not the driver’s seat in my car will dry out overnight.