I am writing this monday morning, between tasks at work as I try to pace myself through a day full of frustration. Last night, a bunch of Democrats capitulated to the latest Republican bullshit as eight of them (none of whom are up for relection next year, “coincidentally”) voted to pass the current Continuing Resolution (which is like a budget except it just kicks the can down the road for a couple months). Forty or so days of a government shutdown causing untold hardship for so many people and they gave up without getting anything other than a promise that there will be a vote on healthcare stuff. All of which ignores just how many people are going to lose healthcare as a result of this CR and makes the suffering of federal employees and low-income households getting food assistance a complete and total waste. There was no reason to shut down the government. The Dems got nothing but an empty promise for a future conversation that will likely have as much benefit as anything the Dems have “done” up to this point. It’s just so galling to see, especially on the tail of such a big blue wave not even a full week before they threw in the towel! The people said they want fighters, officials who stand for something, and the current crop of senators replied by instantly giving up. It was all such a waste. A pointless waste.

Up to this point, I’ve mostly contributed to progressive goals by constantly calling my elected officials. I’ve got a daily call list, scripts, everything. I’ve already been struggling with how pointless it feels and now I don’t know if I can keep doing it anymore. They could have continued to force this issue. They could have kept it going until the Republicans or Trump were forced to do something bigger like kill the fillibuster or something. They could have kept this whole damn thing in the lap of the Republicans by holding to the “simple” line they’ve stood at since the beginning. But they caved, got nothing for it, and it’s difficult not to blame them for the shutdown now. If they were going to give up for LITERALLY nothing of consequence (and incredibly little inconsequential stuff), why have all those people gone without paychecks for this whole damn thing? It’s been a day, barely even 12 hours since I first heard about it, and we’ve already got stories coming in from federal employees who feel betrayed and anecdotes about poeple on food assistance programs who feel like they went hungry for ten days for no reason. What’s the point of trying to get these wastes of oxegyn to do anything when they’re just going to give up so soon after air travel got impacted? I mean, I don’t know for sure that this is why it happened, but it’s difficult not to think about how soon the pitiful resistence that we got completely caved after air travel was put under threat. I mean, we literally had a massive, successful election just a few days ago! It makes no sense unless what you want is to not be inconvenienced! There is no reason for the Dem holdout to fall apart at this moment that isn’t incredibly damning of everyone involved.

I don’t know what’s the point of any of this anymore. The calling representatives, “vote blue no matter who,” attempting to hold out against a government shutdown (another of which is on the horizon in just a couple months since this is a continuing resolution and not an actual budget), or the Democrats trying to do literally anything. Every moment of “resistance” at a federal level has been pointless and ineffectual. Cory Booker’s big moment of holding down the senate floor for hours accomplished nothing and was followed up only by the release of a book he wrote. It accomplished nothing, just like this government shutdown. Every time you hear about someone standing up to the Republicans or Trump, it’s immediately followed by some clear selfish motivation like a book releasing or trying to make space for them to cover up capitulation on some other front. Nothing is getting done. No one is fighting back. Even the people who want to are getting silenced by people from within the Dems who’d rather vote to advance Trump’s agenda than have to miss a vacation. It’s sickening and I’m just so tired of it.

I don’t know what to do. I am bereft of hope (not just because of this, but this certainly didn’t help matters) that we’re ever going to find a systemic solution to the problems of modern governance. I wish there was a real shot for some kind of third party to rise to power, but multiple electoral systems across the US are designed to prevent that and I’m sure there’s still too many people stuck in the disengaged “vote blue no matter who” loop given how popular shitheads like Gavin Newsom are on social media. You’d think seeing a party getting a literal and express mandate from their base to actually fight like hell and then immediately folding in less than a week would convince more people to abandon these feckless wastrels, but Schumer still leads the Senate Democrats and the spineless, vacation-brained Dick Durbin is still their whip. Until any of that changes… Well, nothing else is going to change, that’s for sure.