As I’ve slowly gotten parts of my new apartment in order and done what I can to create space for myself to relax, I’ve found myself turning back to books more and more. My video games and TV shows are fun, of course, but they have a layer of separation between myself and them. Video games require a certain degree of skill or mechanical separation. You must know how to play the game and think about how to play the game for everything but the most immersive experiences, and even those are frequently broken by reminders that there is a mechanical separation between you and your experience. TV shows and movies lack this interactive layer, but most modern movies require subtitles (at least for me, since I often can’t understand the actors over the sound effects) and there’s always this nagging thought in the back of my mind that this experience has a volume that could intrude on the lives of other. Mostly because of how often other people’s movie experiences have intruded on my life. There is nothing between me and a book.

While I’ve been doing a lot of reading on my tablet lately, since all my books are packed away, I still prefer physical books to e-books. I don’t need to remember to charge a paper book. I never need to worry about the app crashing or weird lag issues when it comes to flipping a page. I don’t need to adjust my screen’s brightness as the ambient light changes for a book. What I’ve discovered as I’ve gotten more experience, though, is that there’s a lot of benefits to e-books as well. My hand never cramps from holding my tablet open. I never need to worry about bookmarks or page numbers. I never need to go find whatever book I want to read next from wherever I left it. I don’t need to have a lamp on or figure out how to angle myself so I can catch enough light to read by. I don’t have to concern myself with how many books to bring on a trip since I can just bring everything and buy more if I need it. There’s a lot to recommend my tablet over physical books.

I’ll probably stick with my current hybrid adoption. Both forms are good. There’s benefits to each one and each one has its place. I still probably prefer physical books because I like having things to fill space around me, but this past week of moving has reminded me that there are downsides to having stuff. An entire library of e-books weighs nothing, whereas my collection of books easily clocks in at a few hundred pounds. I’m afraid to actually figure out a specific number because I’m pretty sure I’d feel guilty for making my friends carry all that weight. I will, however, probably transition to e-book format for comics, though. They’re always either very dense (comic collections in a single volume usually weigh more than similarly sized books or graphic novels) and difficult to manage (since they’re rarely the same size as most books I’m used to handling), not to mention most comic books I’ve bought feel incredibly delicate unless I’m buying them in collections. Even then, I feel like I’ve damaged more comic books than novels just because the standard size of a comic book makes them difficult to manage outside of the proper “sitting up with a book on your lap” or “sitting at a table with a book” reading positions and I spend as little time in those position as I can. I’ve torn so many comic pages while just trying to flip to the next one because it caught on my shirt or the page bent weirdly or whatever inane, unexpected reason caused the force to be applied in a weird position on the page.

Either way, nothing comes between you and your experience. It is just you and the words you’re reading. Sure, the world can (and often does) intrude while you’re reading, but most of the time it isn’t there. Most of the time, its just the two of you. That makes it a lot easier to commit to when I’m feeling tired and worn down. I don’t need to be considerate of my nieghbors when I’m reading. I don’t need to have the abilty to focus in the way that video games demand. A good book will carry me along while a game requires me to put in effort. Often a lot of fun effort, but it’s still effort.

As obvious as some of this might sound, it’s not something I’ve really thought about before. I don’t think I’ve ever been as consistently exhausted as I’ve been the past few weeks. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as burned out as I have these past three months. I have never looked at a video game before this year and thought “that’s too much work” or looked at a movie and thought “I do not have the emotional capacity for managing the volume.” I’ve never really needed to make a choice between my various forms of entertainment based on anything but preference before this year, and now suddenly the choice is being made for me by my energy levels. I really never even thought something like this could happen.

It isn’t a bad thing, to be clear. I’m enjoying reading again. I’ve officially read more books since the start of March than I have since the start of the 2020s. I’m back into reading in a way that I haven’t been since college and I’m really enjoying it because it has become so effortless now. I’ve finally cracked what barriers kept me away from reading and, so long as I’ve got a new book or a fun re-read waiting for me, I don’t think I’m going to stop any time soon.