I have not gone more than six hours without getting some kind of text, email, or mail advertisement about the upcoming presidential election. If we throw in general online advertisements, then I haven’t even gone an hour (and I know I should start spending less time online. It’s a difficult habit to break, but I’m getting there). Sure, both of these numbers exclude time I’m asleep, though even that time doesn’t change much if I include my dreams since I still get political advertisements invading those as well. Which is a wild thing to be happening considering I’ve still never once dreamed of being on the computer or using my cell phone. It’s mostly billboards in my dreams, but I also still get mail and hear people talking about the upcoming election, so I really can’t escape it except when I’m sleeping dreamlessly and you don’t really experience that passage of time so I refuse to count it. I probably wouldn’t mind as much if every single one of them didn’t assign absolutely dire and earth-shattering consequences to voting for whatever person the advertisement doesn’t want me to vote for. I already know that this election will have dire consequences and it’s abundantly clear that both results will probably have dire consequences because this is the US I’m talking about and we haven’t had an election that wasn’t choosing the shiniest of two turds (to quote an Epic Rap Battle of History that gets stuck in my head every election cycle) in longer than my living memory. I mean, I still remember when it was controversial to run attack ads at all and when people began to comment on how often attack ads showed up, but now that seems to be all there is. Endless, direly worded attack ads that are also attacking me.

One might think that, as far as most voters go, I could be easily ignored. Sure, the state and federal government has me down in a demographic that is likely to vote for Trump (all my legal documents have me recorded as a white, middle-class male in his thirties) so it kinda makes sense that I might get some political advertising, but I’ve also voted in every single election I’ve been able to vote in for the past fifteen years and I’ve voted for the Democratic candidates every single time. I haven’t missed a single chance to vote in my life. All of that practical evidence of my affiliation should probably overrule whatever census or demographic data people have on me that is influencing their decisions to bombard me with political messaging. I’m registered to vote, I’ve already voted multiple times at my current address, I’m already affiliated with a specific state party, and I’m living in one of the blue bastions in my state. I should be the last person on anyone’s list of who they need to spend campaign money on. All of which I’ve done DELIBERATELY to make myself as unlikely to get political messaging as possible. I’ve unsubscribed from every email list, stopped putting in my real phone number or email address on most political donations (any of the ones that require it for billing reasons get a specifically created side email address for stuff that I know will only get me a bunch of spam), and blocked every single phone number that has messaged me. And still I get mailers and messages!

The most exhausting part is just how many bullshit mailers I’ve gotten from the state Republican party or a Super PAC campaigning on behalf of Trump. I genuinely can’t imagine why they’re bombarding the area I live in with mailers and billboard ads considering how Dane County in Wisconsin has so consistently voted one way in every single state and federal election. I mean, sure, I bet there are plenty of people who see those advertisements and get those mailers who are absolutely feeling seen and supported in their objectively terrible support of the growing evil that is that the republican party and the objective evil that is Trump and his associates, but I’m not one of them! Most of my neighbors aren’t one of them! The money spent mailing most of the area a bunch of pro-fascism leaflets would be better spent elsewhere! I literally get three of those a week, sometimes two on the same day, and I can’t imagine a mailing effort this broad is anything but an abject waste of money and paper.

I know the election is only a couple weeks away at this point. My anxiety sure won’t let me forget it. I’m already doing everything I have the time and energy to do in preparation for what might happen on November 5th. I’m just so worn out at this point that, no matter how it goes, I’ll be at least a little relieved that all the campaigning and uncertainty is over. It really sucks! I mean, I’m just trying to live my life and support a bunch of people I care about through what is an objectively difficult time to be anything other than cisgender, and I can’t escape the constant reminders even when I’m trying to take a few minutes or hours to steady myself. The most bizarre part is that, as things reach a fever-pitch in these last weeks before the election, these two campaigns have basically recreated the experience of having intrusive thoughts. Sure, it’s a lot easier to dismiss these since I’m certain they’re not my own thoughts or applicable in any impactful way, but it’s still exhausting to have to constantly swat them down every time they show up and start riling me up.