A year ago today, as I’m writing this, I was frantically double-checking my packing lists, my driving plans, and my flight details. I’d just had one of the most stressful months of my life, as I realized my original flight plans had been messed up, had to scramble to cancel my flights and book a new one in its place, and had to figure out how to change my plans to incorporate a thousand-mile drive into both ends of my first trip overseas. After all, I couldn’t afford to to get a convenient flight from anywhere to where I was going. I could, though, afford to take an extra few days off, drive across the country (there and back again), and sleep in my car (at rest stops, of course) during the long overnight drive. I had already budgeted for work on my car’s breaks, after all, so it was clear that the more affordable option was to spend time rather than money. I have more time than money, most days, so it was a pretty easy calculation to make. I also had to spend hundreds of dollars on new clothes since nothing even remotely nice looking fit me anymore, which made March of 2023 the most expensive month of my life. Even with some hefty student loan payments (ramped up as part of accelerating my repayment plans) and my much increased rent hitting my bank account every month this year, I don’t think I’ve topped out that monumental month of costs. I was stressed, barely getting enough sleep, and had lost some pretty significant chunks of my support network the month before, so I was barely scraping by. Still, I got everything done, didn’t have to spend money I didn’t have, and made it safely to the east coast even on the tiny amount of sleep I’d gotten the week prior. I made it, despite everything.
Continue readingAuthor: Chris
What Comes After Heart: The City Beneath
Well, we finally did it. My players in Heart: The City Beneath hit their first Zenith beat (the one I’ve been working toward with the player who wanted to withdraw) and another got assigned the group’s first Critical Fallout, which we’ve altered just a tiny bit from its as-written description because the player and I agreed it would be more interesting to give him and his character something to work on as a potential end/major alteration to his character that he won’t be able to remove. It felt more fun than just killing his character off, anyway, though I suppose we’ll see how that goes when we next meet in the middle of April. Our next session was due to happen on Easter Sunday and while none of use are impacted by the holiday, two of the players will be traveling that day and largely unavailable, so we’re skipping that session and picking up in three more weeks from the “brushing off the dust” moment we left the game at during our last session. It was fun to bring an end to the Corporate Invasion moment, given how it all played out, but I’m glad we were in the middle of that arc/delve since it allowed me to provide my players with all of the information and impetus the players would need to move their characters towards the final stage of their arc. So now we’re gearing up for this final push, to see where everything comes to a close.
Continue readingPatterns In The Clouds: Comparing Final Fantasy 7 Original and Remake Protagonists
Somewhere, between all the articles I’ve read about Final Fantasy 7 (the original game, Remake, and a few non-spoilery ones about Rebirth), I read a bit of commentary from one of the developers of Remake talking about Cloud’s romance/personal connection scene from Remake. He described Cloud as being five years younger than he appeared, and five years younger than every other protagonist in the game on account of his lost memories, which meant that his interactions with the other adults around him often came off as weirdly stifled or uncertain in a way that mapped better to a 16-year-old teen than a fully grown (if still somewhat young) adult. As I’ve been playing through Final Fantasy VII: Remake, I’ve been thinking about that interview and how it changes the way I read Cloud’s dialogue and body language. At the very base of all this is the image Cloud is trying to project to other people, of being a tough but cool SOLDIER (“ex-SOLDIER”) guy who is untouched by what is going on around him. On top of that, you have this imposed emotional distance that, in the original game at least, was part of maintaining that image of himself. That so far seems to be the case here, though I’ll admit I’m curious to see how that might be changed by the events of Rebirth and whatever the third installment in this series is called. Still, I can’t help but feel that the two Clouds, from the original game and from the Remake/Rebirth/Re-something (my money is on “Renewal,” currently) series, are very different characters.
Continue readingI Played Original Final Fantasy 7 So I Can Critically Engage With Remake & Rebirth
Just a quick head’s up: this post contains spoilers for the original Final Fantasy 7 and Final Fantasy 7: Remake. Feels a little weird to put a spoiler tag on a game as old as FF7 (it is only six years younger than I am, after all!), but it’s pretty relevant given Remake and, more recently, Final Fantasy 7: Rebirth.
For the fourth time, I started playing Final Fantasy 7. The original, I mean. I’ve only started playing Final Fantasy 7: Remake three times so far. I actually played Remake before I’d played the original. I grew up in a limited console household and none of my friends had a PlayStation around the time that FF7 came out, so I missed my opportunity to enjoy it in my youth. When I had subsequent opportunities, mostly in college and afterwards, I just never felt inclined to spend the time. After all, so much about Sephiroth and the major plot twists of FF7 have seemed into general knowledge of the world. I mean, I knew Sephiroth was a ghost, that Cloud wasn’t really in SOLDIER, and that Aerith dies no matter what you do. Hell, a great example of that is that I’ve never once had to add the word “Sephiroth” to a personal dictionary on any web browser or cell phone I’ve ever owned and that’s not even true for “Aerith” or her incorrectly spelled variant name, “Aeris.” I was under the impression that there wasn’t really much left in the game for me to experience, especially after I watched Final Fantasy 7: Machinabridged and got a lot more of the details. Still, as I picked up my copy of Final Fantasy 7: Rebirth and realized that my save data for Final Fantasy 7: Remake hadn’t transferred from my PS4 to my PS5, I figured I might as well give the original game another try.
Continue readingSpoiler-Free Thoughts About Nona The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
I’ve finally read Nona the Ninth, thereby completing as much of the Locked Tomb series (by Tamsyn Muir) as has been released. This one was SO MUCH easier to read than the last one, Harrow the Ninth since it wasn’t in second-person almost the entire time. This one stayed with one very limited and skewed perspective, but it was consistent and easy enough to figure out as I read. While there were definitely points where I struggled, it had more to do with getting into the right frame of mind than about the craft of the novel. There were also a few points where I felt a bit confused, but they were all clearly a design choice by Muir, meant to reflect the state of the protagonist. The story did a great job of laying things out, avoiding the timeline foibles of Harrow as well as the second-person narration ones, and I probably enjoyed this one the most in the series thus far. I’m incredibly interested to see where things go in the next book, as the Locked Tomb series draws to what seems like the close of this once-trilogy, and as all the things set up in Nona and the previous volumes finally pay off. There’s so much that got expanded upon or accentuated in Nona that I’m feeling almost rabid for the next volume and find myself feeling incredibly grateful that I’ve only come upon the series during what is supposed to be the year of the fourth book’s release.
Continue readingFinally Halfway Through The School Day In The Magical Millennium
This past Sunday, we held our second session of the Dungeons & Dragons game I’ve titled The Magical Millennium. This is the modern fantasy D&D game I’ve mentioned previously, featuring high school students in a bit of a genre mash-up I’ve taken to describing as “slice-of-life but with fantasy tensions,” and so far our first two 3+ hour sessions have involved going through the first four periods of the first day of school in a new year. Last time, we covered character introductions, a few notable NPCs, terminology they’d all need to know, and establishing some of the background drama the second-year students were coming into the game with. It was a lot of fun, especially as it ended with a Illusory/virtual reality fight the players absolutely dominated. This time, since the fight I’d planned to start with had been unceremoniously ended by a hefty expenditure of limited resources, we focused on what the students did with the latter half of their homeroom period, a bit of background on how magic works in the world, their class schedules, and how classes were going to be formatted through their days. Also when they had lunch period, which wound up being the battleground for our first social encounter when a bit of incredibly forward flirting was misinterpreted by an NPC. We got to go all-in on new systems and high school drama, which felt like a lot of fun to me, even if we only made it through another two and a half periods of their eight-period day.
Continue readingDaylight Saving Time Is Bullshit And Other Monday Thoughts
Daylight Saving Time is back in the US and continues to be some absolute bullshit. My entire rhythm is fucked up. You’d think that, with how messed up my sleep schedule already is, that I’d be a bit less troubled by other disruptions. You’d think wrong. I’m just as susceptible to the disruption of having the sun’s position relative to only my external clocks suddenly change. So, despite getting a decent amount of sleep over the weekend, I’m still starting this week with less than I’d like thanks to having my sleep cut short by an hour on Sunday and then struggling to fall asleep later that same day. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to do some course correction as I go through this week, but I’ve got a lot of potential events on my calendar for this week (mostly in the evenings [and none of which wound up happening]), so there’s no knowing how long its going to take for me to sort this out [the answer was still “all week” though]. After all, a lot of my struggles around getting to bed on time are a result of trying to make some time to enjoy myself or play some video games in the evening and I might be even shorter on that time than usual. Plus, thanks to all those events, I have to make sure I’m getting out of bed on time so I can actually get my usual ten-hour days in before I have to leave work for my evening events, which means my usual release valve of “sleep in a bit” isn’t available until Friday at the earliest and even then I’ll want to avoid being too late to work on Friday since I don’t think I’ll be able to bank any extra time this week to balance out any days that have to end early.
Continue readingA Eulogy To Akira Toriyama: How The Dragon Ball Manga Changed My Life
Akira Toriyama, the creator of Dragon Ball and so much more, passed away this month. I learned about it last night (on the 7th of March, since I’m writing this on the 8th and you’re reading this on or after the 15th) and have spent the last day reflecting on the impact he had on my life. I don’t really talk about it a whole lot (because it was more than two decades ago and for other reasons that will become apparent soon), but I got into manga, comics, and graphic novels as a whole because of Dragon Ball. Before finding those bright red volumes on the “new” shelf at my local library one day when I’d ridden my bike there for some books to read, my entire conception of comics was confined to the syndicated comics that ran in newspapers, so much so that I didn’t call them comics. I called them “funnies” because they showed up in the “funny pages” of the newspaper. Sure, I’d read tons of picture books as a kid and a few things that rode a fine line between graphic novels and picture books, and sure, I knew what comic books were, but they’d never been a part of my life before I picked up one of the brightly colored books and was transported to a whole new world via a whole new type of story. That moment, that first borrowing of the first Dragon Ball book, was a major inflection point in my life to the degree that I can’t even imagine the person I’d be if I never picked it up. The change wasn’t drastic in the moment, but it laid the groundwork that I’ve built a huge portion of my life on since then.
Continue readingExhaustion As A Side-Effect Is Preventing Me From Overworking Myself
I recently (aka, two days ago after one hell of a delay due to so many convoluted bits of bullshit) changed up the medications I’m taking and have been knocked on my ass more completely by this change than by anything but that time I got the flu back in 2019. I spent an entire day basically immobilized once I discovered that the medication didn’t make me weak, it just SEVERELY limited the amount of energy I had in a day. I literally worked out and then immediately discovered that I was so worn out that I had trouble walking down the stairs. Needless to say, that and another side effect ensured I spent the day working from home as much as I could manage. The other side effect was some stomach stuff, no worse than my lactose intolerance inflicts on me when I fail to manage my dairy intake properly, but the muscle weakness and exhaustion were incredibly defeating. Since then, I’ve been slowly recovering. The stomach issues are mostly gone (though apparently eating more than a couple cashews makes me nauseas now?) but the severe limit on my energy has been slower to depart. I wisely didn’t complete a full workout yesterday, which meant I was able to get through almost an entire day of work before the exhaustion drove me into my chair (which is a problem considering that my desk at work is a standing desk, isn’t adjustable, and my chair is meant for a sitting desk). Today, I managed a full workout and am still standing at the end of the day, but I can feel the exhaustion starting to bear down on me. Literally the only thing making this tolerable is the knowledge that, ultimately, even if these side-effects diminish beyond this point, I can stop taking this medication eventually.
Continue readingGetting Lost In Warframe With My Friends
I started playing Warframe pretty recently. Well, sort of. I started playing Warframe past the introduction recently. I started playing it years and years ago, because one of my friends was really into the game, but I was getting into it as he was falling off it and I didn’t really have it in me to stay focused on the game by myself back then. I still don’t these days, but I’ve got a pair of friends (the same pair who got me into Palia and most other new games I’ve tried over the last year) who have been investing their time in the game recently and, since I’m more interested in doing fun stuff with my friends than the specifics of most games, I decided to launch myself back into it. Plus, this game gets around most of my aversion to guns in games since the enemies in this one are rarely human, melee attacks are my preferred mode of combat, and I can actually not use any guns at all if that’s what I want–for instance, I’m doing a Bow, Shuriken, Hammer thing right now and having a blast. I don’t really understand more than the very basics of whatever plotlines exist in the game since my friends have been powering me through the various advancement-critical missions so they can open up the world for me, reveal something they’ve been trying to keep a secret (which is working really well, aided in part by the fact that I genuinely don’t know enough to spot whatever stuff they might be trying to hide), and get me all of the cool abilities that usually take a long time to unlock. So I’m having fun but I’m also confused to the point of just sort of sliding through the missions without them leaving any kind of lasting impression on me.
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