Earlier this week, one of my friends (the friends-as-family type) sent me a playlist he’d been putting together of songs he thought I might like. I was a really nice experience, to have this sent to me, since he was absolutely correct on all counts, so much so that I’m still listening to the whole playlist over a week later. It was funny to immediately see that two of the songs on the playlist were songs I already loved and listened to regularly, but the rest were all new to me and all absolutely perfect songs. Well, perfect for me. It made me feel incredibly “seen” in a way that feels increasingly rare these days, especially as I’m often living in a conflicting manner when it comes to the various major portions of my life. At work, I do my best to not be seen and known in this way because I don’t trust my coworkers (which has gone from a general trepidation about being vulnerable with my coworkers and grown into an entirely justified mistrust), which is at odds with the way I live my life online or with the people I trust who I try to be as genuinely myself with as possible. Throw in a couple other places where the way I live as myself is different–the discord for my Final Fantasy 14 Free Company where I try to be myself but lightly and with little revelation of personal details for example, or my local friend group where I was forced to withdraw into myself in order to cope with last year’s pain and sleeplessness–and you can probably start to imagine how much internal conflict I’m dealing with most of the time. I have only one small space where I can be genuinely myself and it is in text messages I exchange with my closest friends, which feels incredibly stifling and makes me feel like I’m being ignored by the whole world.
Continue readingI Can’t Imagine What Final Fantasy 14 Would Have Like Without My Free Company
Aside from my very first month of playing the game, I have not experienced what it is like to play Final Fantasy 14 without being a member of a Free Company (the FF14 version of player guilds). The friends who got me into the game were members of one already, so I was already predisposed to joining that particular group from the get-go, but the warm welcome I received while I was still a new player on a free-to-play account solidified my decision to join. Since then, I have not regretted my choice. Almost everyone in the FC has been a warm and welcoming person who has done what they could, sometimes at mild to moderate inconvenience, to help me out as I’ve gotten further and further into the game. From free level-appropriate gear when I was reached the tough middle of my crafting journey to tons of free collectibles (music for the in-game jukebox, minions, clothing items, mounts, and more) more or less constantly, I would not have made the progress I have without the support of this FC. Nor would I have made as much money since everything I know about crafting to make money has been learned from people in the FC and almost all of the money I’ve made in the game has been made via crafting and gathering jobs for the FC’s leader (often as part of deals he has brokered with other very wealthy players). Joining this FC immediately upon becoming a paying subscriber to the game has irrevoccably altered my experience in ways I rarely stop to think about now that I’ve adjusted to it.
Continue readingThree Separate Heatwaves So Far This Summer
I’m writing this post as the tail-end of the latest heatwave slowly dwindles. Along with the cooler air and chance for storms this shift in temperature is bringing, we’re also getting a nasty shift in air-quality. All the cold air coming from up north is still filled with wildfire smoke, after all. Which means we’re all basically stuck in a position of “horrible heat” or “smoke-filled air” as the old, stable, warm-but-not-too-hot weather of post summers gets blown to and fro by the more extreme conditions to the north and south. It is just over a month into Summer and we’ve had three heatwaves in that time alone. I’m sure we had more over the course of the year, but they didn’t really register the same way these ones did since all they brought were unseasonably warm temperatures (like that time we had temperatures in the 70s back in February) and not actual heat advisories like the summer ones always deliver. I wish I could reliably say that at least this is it for the next ten days based on the forecast, but even tomnorrow’s forecast is no longer an acurrate prediction I can rely on [turns out that even this morning’s prediction for today was off by almost ten degrees and it looks like this week’s heat is going already be more intense than predicted over the weekend]. Today was supposed to be cool and stormy, but instead we’ve just drawn out the dwindling temperatures from the past two days to create a humid swamp of an atmosphere that smells of smoke to my sensitive nose. Tomorrow’s supposed to be rainy now, but I’ll believe it when I see it since I sincerely doubt it will cool off as much as the forecast claims it will. I find it difficult to believe it’ll go from a heat index of over one hundred to dipping down into the fifties in less than forty-eight hours (and barely more than thirty-six), but the weather is strange and largely unpredict able at this point, so who knows. Maybe it’ll happen [it didn’t].
Continue readingBurned Out Beyond Storytelling
It has been almost a month since I ran a TTRPG session. I’ve been so exhausted that I just haven’t had the energy to plan sessions or do even a modicum of prep work, let alone actually spend the significant chunk of time and energy required to hold the session. I keep going into each new week feeling marginally better at most, so putting in the effort to run a game would leave me in even worse condition. Love of the game isn’t enough to make it happen, as much as I’d like to pretend it was, and thankfully my players have all been very understanding. I’m just coming out of my third skipped weekend in a row, still exhausted, and wondering when I’ll eventually have recovered from this burnout. In the past, when things would get this bad for me, I’d do a work from home day or two so I’d be able to sleep in later, rest more during the day, and spend a day working in comfort rather than having to exist in the constantly draining and uncomfortable environment of my office. I’m pretty good at masking so I doubt any of my coworkers know this, but the environment I work in can be very stressful and overstimulating in a way that saps me of all my energy pretty quickly, and the insistence by my boss that I spend less time in my office and more time being visible by working in the lab is only making it worse. I can’t escape the noise outside my office. I have to wear my mask (literal N95 and metaphorical over-emotive-pretense-of-neurotypicality) while I’m out there. I have to constantly watch where my coworkers are so they don’t sneak up on me and clap me on the shoulder heavily enough that I have to restrain my fight-response. It’s not great!
Continue readingHousing Opportunities In Final Fantasy 14
After a relatively short time, I managed to win the opportunity to buy a house in Final Fantasy 14. I know people who have been trying for well over a year to get a house in one of the few player housing zones in the game, but I got incredibly lucky and won on a housing plot in what turned out to be a relatively unpopular area, based on how few bids there were. Personally, I think parts of that area are incredibly underrated, which is why I added them to my list of possible locations. Normally, getting a house of some kind wouldn’t be as big of a deal as it has been this past year, but there’s been a few events in the US that had the local housing market locked in a way that it normally isn’t. Typically, if you do not enter your home for forty-five days, your house will be automatically demolished, your things put in storage, and some amount of the house’s cost refunded to you. This is to prevent players from purchasing and sitting on the nicest housing plots long after they’ve stopped playing the game. Sure, it’s still incredibly easy to just log in every so often to keep your house occupied, but that means you have to buy a subscription every month and a half, at minimum, and Final Fantasy 14 loves that. They want your money. So, prior to the massive floods and damage to North Carolina last year, this process happened regularly and houses would go back on the market at a fairly normal rate. Once those floods happened and huge portions of the US (well, not that huge in proportion the the US itself but still huge compared to most parts of the world) were unable to access secure internet and gaming time, Square Enix decided to put the timers on hold. A decision they relented on in December of 2024 and them immediately put back in place during the L.A. wildfires. As a result, until incredibly recently, most houses only became available because people actively sold them or moved into new housing of their own.
Continue readingCasual Nightmares Of Modern Capitalism In The US
One of the most frustrating parts of the era of capitalism we currently live in (at least in the US, since I think that the specific combination of problems turning into this particular disastrous megazord of malpractice is unique to the country of my birth) is that there are lots of companies out there that will just lie to you or attempt to defraud you because most people won’t put up a fight. It’s the same pattern of behavior that scammers follow, except it’s insurance agencies or medical suppliers so people tend to trust them more readily which means they have a much higher rate of success than scammers do. It is insurance companies denying your claims after the fact or attempting to prevent coverage altogether. It is the dubious practice of sending summaries of charges that look exactly like bills but aren’t actually bills. It is companies giving you the “post insurance” price for something you’re ordering but then you getting hit for so much more because it turns out that insurance only covers that much once you’ve reached your yearly out-of-pocket maximum. Or, in the case that prompted this furious reflection, a company somehow signing you up for automatic resupply on some medical supplies you ordered without you being involved, shipping an entire order without notifying you, and then sending you bills that don’t actually list anything but the words “medical supplies” on several lines, each with their own inexplicably different price. I’ve cleared up the problem, supposedly, but it was a frustrating experience that ate up an evening and most of a morning to get it resolved and even then I’m not entirely sure that things have actually settled given that any trust I had in this company (which wasn’t much) is completely shot.
Continue readingSome Pokémon News And Updates To Pokémon Olds
There was a Pokémon Dirtect last week Wednesday (or the day I started writing this post). It covered a bunch of stuff, as the Direct series of videos are wont to do, but most of it was not of particular interest to me. I’m sure that the news about the TCG games, introduction of some new lifestyle gamification applications, and updates to existing lifestyle gamification apps were very interesting to the people who enjoy those things, but Pokémon Sleep (as a representation of the gamification of sleep) still kinda skeeves me out and I’m not particularly interested in finding new ways to give the Pokémon Company more and more data about me and my life. I could probably write a blog post about the upcoming Pokémon Legends: A-Z and how that looks interesting, but I’m not excited enough by it to really write all that much about it. I will say that it is interesting to see how the Legends series is growing and that my initial suspicion, that Legends Arceus was an early release of the tech they were developing for the games that eventually became Scarlet and Violet, was essentially correct as we see it finally come to it’s full fruition in the demos we saw of Legends A-Z. We probably would have gotten to that point with Scarlet and Violet if the Switch had better hardware, but it did not and now new Pokémon games will have the strength of the Switch 2’s hardware behind them. As will Scarlet and Violet, apparently.
Continue readingI Could Balance My Gaming Time If I Wanted To
There are too many video games again. Well. I guess there’s one that is too much video game and then a few other that are a perfectly normal amount of video game, but all that comes out in the wash and I still don’t have enough time to play all the video games I want to. I’ve got a lot of gaming hours in my week as the 1200+ (I haven’t check in a while, so it’s probably notably higher) I’ve spent on Final Fantasy 14 so far this year have proven, but I’ve got so much more of that game to play and so many other games to also play. I still never went back to Slay the Princess, Dragon Age: The Veilguard, or Wanderstop, I’ve got a growing pile of updated games to play on the Switch 2, and I’ve got even more brand new games to play that are already out or coming out soon (and then even more games coming out after that). Between my new TV and my now-a-year-old gaming PC, I’ve got the ability to play so many exciting and visually stunning games that I’ve been putting off for years due to the technical limitations of my home gaming systems, and yet all I play is Final Fantasy 14 and that’s not likely to change any time soon.
Continue readingCold Comfort As The World Slowly Burns
While a large amount of my life feelings like a blazing dumpster fire inside a burning apartment at the center of a city that was recently transported into hell (specifically the firey kind of hell), there are a few things I can take some amount of comfort in. Like being able to afford living my life, even if sometimes that feels less true than it used to. Or having enough food to eat. Friends to play games with. Final Fantasy 14. All kinds of stuff, really. A lot of which is just finding the silver lining in my current moment, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Better to appreciate what I’ve got when I’ve got it rather than find myself wishing for when times were better and cursing myself for not appreciating them when I had the chance. Plus, I can still recognize that all of the products marketed as “AI” are absolute garbage and that all these LLMs are just really powerful and confident autocomplete algorithms with no ability to truly “understand” anything. It’s very comforting to know that, especially as more and more news reports come out about people having breaks with reality as a result of the tripe they’ve been fed by their emotional support “AI.” It’s not great that they’re an increasingly huge part of daily life and that more and more corporations are starting to move from “please use our garbage generator” to “you HAVE to use our garbage generator,” but at least I haven’t fallen for this spiel yet.
Continue readingDonkey Kong Bananza Is All The Reason You Need To Buy A Switch 2
Donkey Kong Bananza is everything I wanted it to be and more, so much so that I have no qualms about saying that this game is justification enough for buying a Switch 2. I have not had such an immediate and strong attachment to a game since I played first played Breath of the Wild back in 2017. Even as much as I love playing Final Fantasy 14, my first month with the game was full of fits and starts where I was not sure that I’d grow to love it as anything more than something I played with my friends. With Donkey Kong Bananza, I was hooked from the first instant I got control of DK and my time with the game has only increased this attachment. I’ve had a whole weekend to play this game (I planned to write this a week before posting it but time got away from me (which has nevertheless worked out the best for this review)) and I can firmly say that you will not regret your time with this game. You also don’t need to have any particular attachment to the franchise, knowledge of the history of Donkey Kong, or even gaming experience to enjoy this game. This could be your first video game ever and you’d probably have an incredible time with it, assuming you enjoy this kind of open-ish world collectathon adventure experience. That’s the one caveat about this game: you need to like collecting things to really enjoy this game. If you dislike or feel stressed by collecting things, there really isn’t a lot of other stuff in this game for you. You’d probably still have fun, but the way that collection drives so much of the experience would probably repel you. If you’re indifferent to or neutral on collecting things, then I think you would still have a great time with this game. You don’t need to be a “Collecting Things” sicko like me to have a good time with Donkey Kong Bananza, but it certainly helps.
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