Greg woke up to a beam of sunlight in his eyes. Cursing, he laboriously pushed himself up and shuffled along the edge of his bed to his walker. Leaning on it more than he liked, he shuffled to the window and closed the blinds.
Continue readingThis Might Be The Burnout Talking, But I’m Incredibly Frustrated With Stuff At Work
Today (specifically the day I’m writing this, not the day you’re reading this), I’m whiling away my afternoon as I mostly just keep plates spinning at work. We’re rapidly approaching the holiday season and not a lot is getting done since the office will be closed a week from now. It’ll only be closed for the holidays for a few work days, but that’s already more than we usually get, so everyone’s really feeling a proglonged version of the “friday afternoon” complaceny that tends to hit the office. No one expects much to happen and those of us who are still trying to get things done are pretty much out of luck. So, instead of getting anything done that I had planned to do today (since some of the stuff I needed to do any of that work is officially eight days past due), I’m just trying to keep people from forgetting stuff that I need them to do. It’s boring work, comprised of a lot of writing down lists and looking through my emails and chat messages for the latest updates, but it’s pretty much all I can do right now that is still going to help me complete all my high-priority work before the holidays. Hopefully, anyway. I’m only in the office for four days next week and then I’ll be gone from the office for twelve (total days, not work days, unfortunately), so my window to get anything done before 2024 rolls around is rapidly shrinking [and has officially closed, thanks to holiday delays stretching from US Thanksgiving to the beginning of 2024, so none of that stuff will actually get done this year].
Continue readingSpider-Man 2 Is The Most Human Superhero Game I’ve Ever Played
After realizing that I could not be trusted to play a reasonable amount of Baldur’s Gate 3, I made the decision to swap my evening video game time back to Spider-Man 2 rather than carry on staying up way too late every single night. It wasn’t a difficult decision, to be honest. I’ve already beaten BG3 and while there’s a lot of fun to be had in the game, I recognize an unhealthy coping mechanism when I see one and that game is one from its character creator to its epilogue (for me, specifically. And, you know, probably other people as well). So, I returned to Spider-Man 2 and my relatively new save file, complete with a lot less podcast listening time than I prefered and fears about being as underwhelmed by the game as so many other people seemed to be. A lot of people have decried the game as being annoyingly short and while that doesn’t necessarily deter me (I love a game that won’t take 100 hours to beat just as much as I love a good game that takes 100 hours to beat), it had me putting off the game so I could savor it longer. Now that I’m back into it, though, I kinda regret putting it off as much as I have since it’s actually my favorite of the trio (Spider-Man: Remastered, Spider-Man: Miles Morales, and Spider-Man 2).
Continue readingPushing Back Against My Loneliness
Last night, I had a call with one of my friends. I think it was the first time I just sat down and had a chat with someone in at least six months (the last time was when I got to see a friend in-person for the first time in years and we met up after a wedding to get lunch and just talk, which was honestly really great except for the fact that I don’t remember half of it because I was so tired that my head was full of cotton). Most of the time when I talk to people, it’s to serve a particular purpose. Sometimes it’s to plan an event, sometimes it’s to play a game together (video or online tabletop), and sometimes its to provide emotional support. Rarely, these days, do I ever sit down with people, in person or on the phone, to just shoot the shit. Which, in retrospect, is probably part of the reason I’ve been struggling with feelings of isolation for a while now. I love talking to people for no purpose other than to talk, but it’s really difficult to do since most people are busy and it’s much easier to plan an activity with other people than to just set aside time to exist with each other in companionable conversation or silence, whichever happens.
Continue readingUnpacking The Past
Recently, my younger sibling (the middlest of us middle siblings) brought me the last of my things from my parents’ house. A lot of it was model train stuff that used to belong to my dad and that now belongs to me for reasons I don’t remember (I probably said I’d take it when he mentioned planning to throw it out sometime a decade or so ago), but this delivery also included a bunch of the seasonal decorations that had been given to me in my childhood and all of my “baby books” as my family called them (pretty much anything for kindergardeners and younger). I had a pretty impressive collection (all of us did), but I think I might have held onto mine the best. I was always the kid most interested in building my book collection. I reread things the most. I enjoyed having them since, with one exception, books were never forbidden to me in a household where every other piece of media I ever acquired had to be vetted by my parents to make sure it was appropriate for me. Which is funny, since books wound up being some of the most subversive stuff I ecountered as a kid in a lot of ways, some of which weren’t always terribly constructive or thought-provoking. I mean, I remember tearing pages out of my Dragon Ball manga because some of the art showed a woman’s breasts and I knew I’d lose all access to manga (which had somehow fallen under the blanket approval of books in my parents’ minds) just as well as I remember how Fullmetal Alchemist taught me to be more critical of authority. Or how Tuck Everlasting taught me that maybe endless anything wasn’t actually something I should desire (which laid the groundwork for me questioning the faith I was raised to accept without thought) and how Hatchett taught me how to start fires without matches.
Continue readingCelebrating The Holidays In Heart: The City Beneath
Well, there won’t be my usual “Descent Into The Rotting Heart” post this week. We didn’t play last weekend, so I have no new story of adventure, horror, and the prices of each to share. What I do have is some thoughts about my approach to creating a “holiday special” since our next session was going to be on Christmas Eve and our previous session was in the middle of Hanukkah, both of which are major winter holidays and very good reasons for my players to not attend a session of Heart: The City Beneath even if I don’t really celebrate either of those holidays myself. So, instead of starting the next leg of the game and having to stop it partway through a Session for at least twice as long as usual, I’ve decided to take advantage of the fact that the party has gotten split up to do a bunch of smaller one-off sessions with each player. It will also help me solidify the narrative since we’re now about twenty percent of the way through the first (and possibly only) arc and I need to start pulling some of the threads a bit more tightly than I have been up to now. I’ve got a pretty solid base for what I think is going to happen and I’ve sprinkled in enough stuff for each of the players that I THINK I know where they want to take their characters’ stories, but it never hurts to solidfy this stuff hand-in hand with my players [the time between writing and posting this has proven this instinct to be correct since one of my player’s goals for their characters are super different than what I expected].
Continue readingMiradoon The Silent Sorcerer
“Miradoon, can you please take your stupid little toys and get out of the way?”
Continue readingBIGTOP BURGER Serves A Hefty Meal Of Absurd Humor, Plot Twists, And Foreshadowing
One of my favorite YouTube treats is watching the BIGTOP BURGER series by Ian Worthington (aka Worthikids on YouTube). There’s no real schedule for releases, so it’s always a delightful surprise to see one of my YouTube notifications telling me there’s a new video to watch. And while I enjoy all of Worthikids’ animations, the slow-rolling BIGTOP BURGER series is my favorite. This YouTube show features Worthikid’s incredibly stylized art, expressive animation, made-to-order music, and combined visual and spoken humor, making the entire show an incredible feat given that he does everything but the voice acting himself (and he even does some of that himself). While the story might seem incredibly basic, perhaps even looking like a mere formality required to create a platform on which the jokes of Season 1 are built, the recently completed (and even more recently compiled) Season 2 reveals a slowly building narrative that has been foreshadowed from the very beginning. I won’t say much about it right now, because I think you should absolutely take thirty-two minutes out of your day to watch both seasons before coming back here (because there will absolutely be spoilers below this paragraph), but I was completely caught off guard by how well-crafted the narrative is now that we have more of it revealed to us.
Continue readingI’ll Be Home For The Holidays
The holidays are here. Some are already happening and some are swiftly approaching and yet I have no idea what I’m going to do this year. Since I went no-contact with my entire family except my younger siblings, I’ve celebrated with two of them, observed it via discord calls during the start of the pandemic, joined my local friends’ family at their house, and then spent it with those same friends who had to cancel their travel plans due to the nasty weather. I thought I might travel to visit some friends (the ones on the east coast that I’ve drived to visit twice this year) but the thought of going anywhere far away fills me with preemptive exhaustion so severe I had to take a fifteen minute break from what I was doing when I idly considered doing another pair of one thousand mile drives. Sure, I’ve got my longest break from work in years thanks to some extra holidays my employer gave all the US employees and a few days of PTO I have to spend before January nineth (a whole twelve consecutive days), but I REALLY need to take some time to myself. I’m incredibly burned out and I could really use some actual rest. Sure, I’d love to see my friends and I’m sure I’d have a great time visiting them, but it would probably not be terribly restful, regardless of whether I drove or flew. Not to mention it’s a bit late in the year to be making plans like that.
Continue readingViolence As A Vehicle For Progression In Video Games
Over the past year, I’ve been thinking a lot about the place of violence in video games. Pretty much every game I’ve played this year requires some degree of violence in order to make forward progress. In my beloved RPGs, it is the central pillar of almost every game. Sure, there’s usually a story and some excellent character work, but almost the whole thing still revolves around violence. My favorite RPG from the past year, Chained Echoes, features combat as the main mechanic of moving around the world and the method of resolving every bit of story tension in the game (even if the story isn’t really about violence and is actually critical of how “the ends justify the means” style philosophies are almost always an excuse for power getting what it wants through violence). Perhaps the biggest game of the year, Baldur’s Gate 3, is incredibly violent, sometimes moreso than others because there are entirely legitimate, if digustingly evil, paths through the game that involve indiscriminate murder. Sure, both these games involve violence against monsters and people with little to distinguish the two groups from each other (and next-to-nothing to explicitly point out that maybe you’re the greatest monster of them all, in the case of Baldur’s Gate 3), but games with violence exclusively against monsters aren’t much better since they still require violence in order to progress the game. Even one of the cutest, most-delightful games I’ve played (Lil Gator Game) involved violence, albeit violence against cardboard “monsters” rather than against other people. There’s almost no escaping it, which is unfortunate because one of the things that drives my escapist desires the most these days is the amount of violence in the world.
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