My most popular post over the last two years is “Don’t Argue If They Won’t Listen” and I honestly find it kind of funny how perennially relevant that is to my life. I was spurred to write that post after being talked over by someone who continued to insist I was wrong despite having no evidence or relevant experience to back up their claim. They were never able to provide a reason for this assertion and their subsequent insistence on ignoring my advice (that they had solicited) on a topic I happened to know a lot about forever changed the nature of our relationship. I was no longer willing to engage with them on anything but a surface level and I let distance grow between us since, prior to that point, I was the one doing most of the work to keep conversation going and make contact. Now, we rarely talk (this greater distance helped by the fact that this person also moved away a few months later) and while I miss the friendship, I do not miss the way it made me feel all the time. Unfortunately, as I’ve come to realize in my professional life, walking away or keeping your silence isn’t always an option.
Continue readingDiscussion
Returning To Nimona With Some Company Along For The Ride
Over the weekend, I visited a friend for her birthday and the two of us caught up on some streaming stuff that she was behind on. I was also behind on some of it, on account of having promised to watch it with her and waiting until we had the chance to even think of watching it, but I’d already seen Nimona. I saw it the week following its release, resubscribing to Netflix for the first time in years to do so. I figured my second time through the movie would be less impactful, mostly because the moment-to-moment tension of the movie would be gone after the first viewing, but I figured I’d be familiar with it enough the second time around that I’d start to look for things I missed the first time. More background details. What the other characters in the movie are doing when the movie is directing my attention to a specific place. Subtle nuance I missed in the course of the raw emotions I experienced the first time through. That sort of stuff. Instead, the only difference was that I knew things were coming and was able to eagerly await them rather then be surprised when they showed up. Sure, it was a bit less tense and a bit less moving, but I still felt the same way as when I watched it the first time. I still experienced the same swells of emotion at the same parts, even if they never quite reached the peak of my first time watching the movie. The only thing that was different was that I was watching it with someone else.
Continue readingDon’t Argue If They Won’t Listen
Over the past few years, I have learned the value of simply not arguing with someone. As a person who spends a great deal of mental energy and time concerned with correctly speaking their mind, it can feel counterintuitive to allow someone to misunderstand me when I’m trying to voice an opinion or share a thought. I’ve learned, though, that it is generally a lot better for my mental health to let them do so and do my best to exit the conversation as quickly as I can once it is clear the person I’m talking to isn’t actually interested in hearing what I have to say. It can be incredibly difficult, especially when that person is someone I spend a lot of time talking to for various reasons, but it is almost always worth it to just shut up, stop arguing, and bail out.
Continue reading