It has been nearly a month since I last wrote about Final Fantasy 14. I started the subsequent expansion not long after my last post (and might have dipped my toes into it just before that post went up), but progress has been pretty slow. It’s not a lack of interest mind you, but perhaps because of an abundance of it. I’ve been consistently putting off certain bits of progress in the main story until my friends could play through them with me, which has sometimes meant needing to wait a day or two to get through the next plot-blocking dungeon or trial. I also took a bunch of time away to level up a class so I could do all of the combat job quest lines simultaneously, and getting something from twenty-ish to seventy is a significant undertaking. I’ve also had a lot of little money-making tasks to pursue, some crafting to do, attempts to update my character’s various glamours, more wrestling events, and so on. I’ve played PLENTY, I just didn’t get back to the Main Scenario Quests until last week on account of all the other stuff I’ve been doing. Even now that I’ve been back at it, the going has been a bit slow as I’ve had to level up additional jobs every night so I can do their quest lines, which means I’ve been poking at the MSQ in small increments here or there every night once that is all done. I also did some raids, took most of a day off Final Fantasy, and gotten back into working all my usual overtime at my job, so I’ve just not been able to bring my focus to bear in the way I’d like to.

Still, even if I’m not making the story progress I’d like to be making, I’m still making good headway on all the other goals I’ve been setting for myself. Between making several million gil (the in-game currency) by crafting and collecting things for the Free Company I joined, getting most of my crafting jobs into the seventies, and upgrading most of my crafting and gathering gear, I’ve essentially tiered-up my ability to do that work across the board. I haven’t used said ability to make much of anything for myself yet, as I have no idea what I want and I’ve had enough level-appropriate items from the various end-of-expansion best-in-job gear sets that I haven’t felt the need to go looking. I’m sure I will eventually, since I like an ecclectic mix of stuff and picking through my crafting logs is a great way to find that stuff, but that specific side of things feels pretty low-priority right now. What I’ve got is good enough for what I’m doing and there’s enough stuff in my various crafting logs that it would take days to go through it all just to look at it, let alone gather materials and actually make things I want. Better to let it sit and only gather stuff that lets me play the market so I can start introducing a few smaller “passive” revenue streams to pay for my increasing costs of living (it’s getting expensive to teleport around everywhere, especially when I keep accidentally going to the wrong places as I’m trying to wrap stuff up at one in the morning).

Still, I do my best to keep up with the weekly tasks I’ve already begun, making sure to get as much of that stuff done right after the weekly reset as possible so I don’t have to worry about having missed any opportunities for various currencies or the massive experience point drops that go with those weeklies. Sure, this all means that most of my play during the week is doing all my little Final Fantasy tasks like it’s my job, but at least all the NPCs and other players I’m giving things to or working for are actually appreciative. I genuinely feel more appreciated by my fellow players and the NPCs than I’ve ever felt at my current job, which has been a feeling that has been kicking around my head more and more as the last couple weeks have unfolded. This whole situation is not a great one to be mentally mired in but, when even a video game can make me feel better than even a hugely successful project at my job can, maybe it’s worth spending some time thinking about what that means. Or a lot of time playing video games as I fill my days with as much goal-oriented work as possible in order to avoid the flinch-away-from-a-hot-stove sensation of trying to actively process what it all means. The only problem is that it is getting increasingly difficult to tear myself away from this reward cycle because it is actually giving me a sense of satisfaction and approval I’m lacking in my day-to-day life.

Difficult but not impossible, for now at least. I’m getting close to the halfway point of the base of the Shadowbringers expansion, so a very focused few evenings and a weekend should get me to the end of it. Or incredibly close to the end of it, anyway [which is where I am as I’m editing this the day before it posts]. Which, thanks to my careful planning, is also when I’ll have all four of my main combat jobs leveled up enough to have done all the job quests. I want to finish all of those before I finish the main body of the expansion, after all, so it’s important to stick to my carefully planned schedule. To a degree, anyway. I could probably fudge things a bit if I need to or maybe set a less ambitious schedule for myself, but I’m trying to keep busy and this video game is the best thing I’ve got for right now. Eventually I need to slow my roll on this game and work on some other stuff (like figuring out what to do about the fact that I don’t feel appreciated at my job despite all the work I do to keep things running smoothly for myself and my coworkers), but for now, I’m just letting it take up as much of my time as I can give it. Once things with my current medications calm down and I’m (hopefully) no longer being as frustrated by my day job as I am right now, I’ll have a bit more energy to do stuff in the evenings like looking for a new job and updating my resume once again. I swear, that thing constantly needs fixing up…