There are too many video games again. Well. I guess there’s one that is too much video game and then a few other that are a perfectly normal amount of video game, but all that comes out in the wash and I still don’t have enough time to play all the video games I want to. I’ve got a lot of gaming hours in my week as the 1200+ (I haven’t check in a while, so it’s probably notably higher) I’ve spent on Final Fantasy 14 so far this year have proven, but I’ve got so much more of that game to play and so many other games to also play. I still never went back to Slay the Princess, Dragon Age: The Veilguard, or Wanderstop, I’ve got a growing pile of updated games to play on the Switch 2, and I’ve got even more brand new games to play that are already out or coming out soon (and then even more games coming out after that). Between my new TV and my now-a-year-old gaming PC, I’ve got the ability to play so many exciting and visually stunning games that I’ve been putting off for years due to the technical limitations of my home gaming systems, and yet all I play is Final Fantasy 14 and that’s not likely to change any time soon.

I’ve dabbled in a few ideas to address this particular issue. I thought that I could change games partway through my evenings, getting a little bit of another game done alongside my Final Fantasy 14 gaming, but my nightly Final Fantasy 14 routines take up too much time for that to really work out, especially these days when I almost always just go to bed whenever I finally close FF14. I’ve also thought about trying to set aside one night a week to play something else, but my evening availability is too variable for that to be a structure I can depend on. I’ve also toyed with trying to split up my weekends a bit, to see if I could use that ample chunk of time to play something else, but I’m not sure I can do that without subjecting myself to a lot of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out, if you’re unfamiliar with the acronym) since I already get plenty of that while I’m actually online in Final Fantasy 14 and just choosing whatever it is I’m going to do. The closest I’ve come was the weekend Donkey Kong Banaza came out, but that involved me playing in the evenings, after I turned off FF14 for the night, and staying up stupid late as a result.

Honestly, it’s all kinda funny given how disciplined I am in most aspects of my life and how difficult it is for me to exercise control over this part of my life. I mean, I already play FF14 like some kind of guided missile, working toward specific goals with a relentless focus that has let me progress as much as I have in a relatively short time. You’d think it would be easy to just adjust those goals a little bit so I’m spending less time on them every day, getting a bit less done each week but opening up a bunch of my time for other things, but the problem with being a guided missile is that there typically aren’t brakes on those things. Guided missiles are notoriously difficult to stop, slow down, or alter course to a new target, in fact. Once I get started, it’s difficult to tear myself away when it’s just so satisfying to keep doing whatever I have going on and wind up playing long past the time I should have gone to bed. All of my tricks, my best practices, and my hard-earned discipline just falls apart in the face of escapism. Which is probably the heart of it. Discipline works elsewhere in my life because it is ultimately about thinking in the long-term and putting in the effort now for benefits later. Managing my gaming time is kind of the opposite. I’m tearing myself away from one of the few sources of joy, fun, and engagement (and social connection!) in my life in order to take care of things that are, largely, only immediate concerns. Ones that typically have long-term consequences if they go ignored long enough, but ones that are incredibly easy to put off in the moment because “I’ll do it tomorrow” or “just ten more minutes” are some of the most permissive things I can say to myself.

If I can get a handle on my discipline again, I think I’ll be able to play plenty of other video games. If I can get through enough of my FF14 goals, I’ll have more time to spend on other games. I just need to rebalance things a bit. I’ve got plenty of motivation to work it out, too. Donkey Kong Banaza is an excellent siren that keeps almost luring me away from my computer (it also helps that not sitting at my desk all the time is doing wonders for my shoulders and neck), there’ll be an update to my favorite Kirby game coming next month, and tomorrow’s Pokemon Direct will certainly have something of interest for me. Maybe there’ll even be a Switch 2 update! That would certainly be something. Maybe the game would finally run properly on the much better hardware of the Switch 2. That might be all it takes to get my to play that game all the way through again… Still, I don’t want to abandon FF14 entirely. It’s most of my social activity at this point and as much as I want to play other games, I don’t really want to go back into the silence and isolation of not having quick, largely passive social connections to a bunch of pretty nice people at my fingertips. Because that’s the most addictive thing about FF14: I get to spend my time doing things with other people who have similar interests and who are often quite happy to see me. I don’t have anywhere else in my life that I’m getting that and none of these other video games I want to play have any way of offering it to me. So, for now, I’ll probably just keep on as things are and mostly play Donkey Kong Bananza only when I need to rest my neck and shoulders.