It’s all kind of a lot these days. The invasion of Minnesota, the planned invasion of multiple other cities, Trump posturing to stake a claim (likely violent) on Greenland, Trump’s government trying to manufacture consent for the invasion, the ever-present spectre of the Epstein Files looming over everything, and all of the patently obvious politically-motivation prosecutions of democratic-run states, democratic officials, and any of Trump’s perceived enemies. There’s just no end to it. I’ve been trying to rest, to get away from the constant churn of misery and awfulness long enough to unwind at least a tiny bit, and every time I go back to the internet or social media, I discover some fresh hell has been unleashed. More killings by cops or feds, increasingly violent rhetoric meant to justify the invasion of Greenland, cops and feds attacking protesters, some new neo-nazi has decided that it’s their turn in the spotlight, and so on. I can’t even remember everything that’s happened this week because it’s just so much all the time and I’m certain I didn’t even see all the most viral of this week’s events. The media environment is too fractured by all the big names joining Trump’s side or attempting to rehabilitate the bullshit he’s spewing as more and more of how we communicate and learn about the world beyond us gets consildated into the conservative grasp of a cadre of malignant billionaires. Our would-be leaders throw up their hands and repeat a bunch of out-of-touch bullshit about prices being too high and citizens being unable to afford groceries like it’s a mantra meant to summon donations or an additional term, all while people are yanked out of their homes and kidnapped out of their cars in the violent blitz that Trump has brought down on various cities in the US. And the pace seems to only be increasing as this desperate attempt to break Trump’s political opponents begins to turn the neutral parts of the country against him.

I’m taking a break from calling my representatives. Given that none of them are doing anything but trotting out the same stupid-ass lines about grocery prices and the “affordability crisis” that they say Trump has failed to address despite his many promises and claims, it’s difficult to see any of them as something other than feckless capitulators. Not a single one of them seems ready to stand up and actually do something about this travesty of treason unfolding all around us. Other states have reps that are taking stances and or trying to drum up support, but not mine. Mine are either silent or part of conversations about promising ICE more funding if they agree to do body cams and extra training. Which any idiot with two braincells to rub together should know would only make things worse. It’s not like bodycams and extra training have done jackshit to stop the police from killing people and abusing their power. You can turn off a body cam and training requires a desire to use it effectively, so all these power-hungry assholes are just going to keep on doing what they’re doing and the only thing that will change is that they’ll have the endorsement of some number of Democrats when they do it [turns out they only needed 7, which they got, and it’s infuriating they did since those 7 voting against the DHS appropriations bill would have killed it]. There’s some murmurings of a “Progressive Caucus” but I am incredibly skeptical that it will accomplish anything given how absolutely useless all of our elected officials have been in doing anything of actual substance. They’ll posture for record-breaking time in order to garner attention right around a time when they just-so-happen to be putting out a book and then fade into silence once they’ve done their victory lap on the talk-show and news-program circuits. I mean, what has Cory Booker done in the last year since his stunt-and-book-release? I’m sure he’s done stuff, every re-elected official is good at projecting busyness, but he’s hardly done anything to that has gotten attention or attempted to drive an issue anywhere.

And I’m sure we’re just about to see another pointless funding debacle given that the continuing resolution passed so that congress and the senate could leave for Thanksgiving after putting everything through an awful shutdown is about to expire. I’m sure they’re already talking about it and figuring out just what minority rights they’re willing to sign away in order to avoid missing any plans they have for Valentines Day just like they abandoned the impeachment trial back in 2021 so they wouldn’t need to work during a planned vacation. Heaven forbid any of them actually face any level of inconvenience or trouble in the name of the people they supposedly represent and claim to serve. It’s no wonder I can’t make myself leave more voicemails or send more emails. I’ve yet to hear back about any of them or speak to a person and I’ve been calling for years, so it’s difficult to feel like I’ve done anything but waste my time on all this. I’m not sure what to do locally yet, since my city so-far remains largely unmolested by Trump’s kidnappers, and I’m not sure what I could do if they were given my need to work in order to support myself and my personal issues regarding authority figures and stressful situations, but that’s a problem I can solve another day. Right now, I need to take a break from all this and get some rest.

I’ve cleared myself a long weekend for that purpose. I don’t have much planned, but I’m going to try to watch more stuff rather than just play Final Fantasy 14 all weekend so I can get the full emotional range of a story or stories and hopefully not feel like I gave up a whole week for barely-visible marginal progress. I’ve got some social obligations and other for-fun work tasks tangential to Final Fantasy 14 to do, so I’ll probably also work on those things. Lots I could be doing, especially now that I’ve been diving back into watching shows. I’ve yet to watch anything while not also attending to passive activities in FF14 (or while crafting high-level stuff), but maybe I’ll finally leave my office and actually watch something on my TV this time around. It would be nice to go back to using that again, considering the only times I’ve watched something on it since last summer was my birthday weekend when my friends were visiting and then last week (two weekends ago as of this getting posted) when my siblings visited. I’ve used it for a decent amount of gaming, but I haven’t really explored what it’s like to watch anything on it. Lots I could do. All I know for sure is that I’m going to be doing my best to completely distract myself. I know I’m going to fail, but its worth trying as much as I can so I can maybe start next week without feeling like death itself.